The chronological archive
The collected essays, newest first. Find a question you have been carrying.
When saying no leaves you feeling guilty
Why Setting a Boundary Can Make You Feel GuiltyWhen a conversation needs more listening
Listening Without Preparing Your ReplyWhen fitting in does not feel like belonging
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Quiet Leadership
I kept explaining, checking and adjusting. Some improvement followed, but it did not last without me. On supporting one person while remaining responsible for the whole team.
Inner Life
I do not know whether this was the first time my biological father beat me. It is the first time I remember. A childhood memory from the house beside the barn.
Boundaries
I can love someone and give them room to choose. I can also need space myself. A reflection on understanding, respect and remaining honest with each other.
Identity & Belonging
I want a moment when the life I have lived and the person I have become finally feel as though they belong together. On the past I carry, the meaning of choice and the life I still hope to make my own.
Emotional Safety
I was waiting outside a shop when she came back out smiling. On wanting more ordinary days together, and the attention I hope to bring to them.
Inner Life
I knew the rims were seventeen inches. Saying they were too small was a reason to leave. A memory of a visit in Sweden and the way back to my car.
Quiet Leadership
Telling someone to leave does not pay tomorrow’s rent. On offering practical help, making another choice possible and leaving the decision theirs.
Inner Life
A brief change in someone's expression can stay with me for hours. On noticing people, needing quiet and the conversations that give me energy.
Inner Life
A raised voice can carry the meaning of an earlier experience. On fear, love, memory and the circumstances that meet inside a decision.
Emotional Safety
I love to love. I love to be loved. A personal essay on mutual care, keeping promises and sharing a life in which both people feel seen.
Inner Life
A banana peel, water in a school toilet and the happiness of finding something I needed. On childhood hunger and the choices we judge from a safe place.
Inner Life
We can see a decision without seeing the choices that were available. On childhood, self-judgement and allowing another person to care.
Quiet Leadership
Sometimes I have to stand in front of somebody who trusts me while knowing I cannot give them the answer they want.
Identity & Belonging
At six, I thought moving to Sweden was a vacation. A ferry, a garden light and a grey rabbit stay with me as I remember not knowing whether I could stay.
Inner Life
At five, I thought I had invented something with a slice of dry bread. Years later, I tried it again. Today, I recognise the curiosity of that little boy.
Quiet Leadership
Other people are already working from a decision that needs to change. On owning the choice, correcting the plan, and taking responsibility for what the repair will cost.
Identity & Belonging
Familiarity can make curiosity seem unnecessary. On old roles, changing preferences, and allowing a shared history to leave room for the person who has arrived today.
Communication & Repair
We can wait quietly while preparing a defence. On hearing the concern behind an imperfect sentence and leaving our answer unfinished long enough to understand something new.
Emotional Safety
Accepting care can leave us calculating what we owe. On saying an honest yes, keeping our preferences, and allowing generosity to have a place without turning it into a debt.
Boundaries
The request returns after the conversation is over. On following through, naming exceptions, and letting a boundary become part of ordinary life without turning it into a rigid rule.
Emotional Safety
Steady care can feel unfamiliar when uncertainty is what we know. Learning to recognise safety in the ordinary evidence of a relationship.
Communication & Repair
The search for the right words, the limits of explanation, and what changes when curiosity no longer moves in both directions.
Inner Life
On speaking honestly, taking ordinary social risks, and leaving another person free to say no. Sometimes a moment of awkwardness is the smaller cost.
Boundaries
The same yes can come from care or from fear. What kindness becomes when there is room for the person giving it, too.
Identity & Belonging
Becoming good at fitting in does not always make a place feel like home. On language, identity, and the work of meeting each other halfway.
Quiet Leadership
An answer can help someone today and make them more dependent tomorrow. On offering support that leaves room for judgement, confidence and ownership.
Inner Life
Being needed can feel like belonging, until there is nothing left to fix. On the difference between what we offer and how much of ourselves we let others see.
Communication & Repair
A conversation can change before anyone speaks. On useful pauses, the cost of avoidance, and making room for what has remained unsaid.
Inner Life
A changed tone, a shorter reply, a distance we cannot explain. On the wish to understand other people and the point where curiosity becomes a search for certainty.
Identity & Belonging
Humour, confidence and directness do not travel unchanged between languages. What a listener hears is not always the whole person speaking.
Inner Life
Careful thought can become a way of postponing uncertainty. On recognising when thinking has stopped helping and letting a responsible decision be finished.
Boundaries
A necessary limit can still leave us feeling guilty. On taking another person’s disappointment seriously without treating it as proof that the boundary was wrong.
Identity & Belonging
A sentence can be correct and still leave the wrong impression. What living between languages taught me about tone, assumptions and the shared work of understanding.
Emotional Safety
The moment after a difficult truth often tells us more than an easy conversation. On honesty, responsiveness and the room a relationship makes for two people.
Quiet Leadership
Listening and deciding ask different things of us. On carrying authority with clarity, making disagreement possible, and knowing when quietness needs to become action.
Identity & Belonging
Returning to a birthplace does not always feel like coming home. On the distance between familiarity and belonging, and the home we build with other people.
Inner Life
A short reply can begin to feel like a verdict on our worth. On separating what happened from what we fear it means, and keeping responsibility specific.
Communication & Repair
Remorse happens within us; repair happens between us. On listening beyond our intentions and allowing an apology to become something another person can recognise.
Boundaries
Someone else’s need for space can sound larger than the words they used. On hearing a specific limit without losing sight of either person’s needs.
Emotional Safety
A sincere moment is not the same as a reliable pattern. On learning to trust the whole relationship, including what happens between its most memorable moments.
Letters from Kamil Larsson
New essays and occasional notes from Kamil Larsson. Sent when there’s something worth sharing.
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